Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: That Time I Met the Real Housewives of Copacabana

There we were, riding out the final days of our friend's 40th birthday blowout in Brazil sun-dazed, slightly hungover, and parked on the famous Copacabana beach. Yes, Barry Manilow was playing on a loop in my head, and no, I didn't fight it.

Suddenly, my friend Kandis gets summoned. Not catcalled, not waved over, summoned by a group of four fabulous women who requested she "come speak in your American accent." Because we're a novelty item! She went. Obviously.

Five minutes later, we were fully inducted into their sandy little VIP lounge, ice buckets of prosecco, champagne flutes on a beach towel, and zero chill. These ladies were not your average cooler-of-Beer-on-the-Beach crowd. Think more Real Housewives: Beachfront Edition, minus the Bravo cameras (unfortunately).

One of them still lived locally; the other three now resided in the U.S. with various husbands but made an annual two-month "family visit" that looked suspiciously like a sun-soaked prosecco marathon.

They schooled us fast:

Rule #1: Never take your real phone to the beach. That adorable kid playing soccer? He's faster than the road runner and will rob you blind while doing kick tricks.

Rule #2: Never. Ever. Run out of prosecco.

They lived by this creed.

The local queen bee waded through sand like she was storming Versailles, returning triumphantly each time with more chilled bottles, like some kind of boozy beach sorceress. Honestly, I was ready to give her a standing ovation or a tiara.

Then, somewhere between the second and fifth bottle, they turned their attention to our birthday boy. Apparently, he needed a "Brazilian romance" to complete his 40th festivities. Boyfriend might be a generous term this was more of a "beach liaison starter pack." They took it as a personal mission. Sadly, no one was successfully recruited, but spirits remained high. (So did we, frankly, on prosecco and sun.)

They say Rio leaves its mark on you. In our case, it was mostly sunburn, a wicked buzz, and a renewed belief in the power of tipsy strangers.

A densely populated hillside city with numerous colorful houses stacked on a steep slope.
Sand sculpture on a beach featuring the Christ the Redeemer statue and colorful sign reading "CARNAVAL RIO BRASIL" with people in the background and a cloudy sky.
A woman smiling with arms raised in front of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, with a clear blue sky and a crowd of tourists.
Aerial view of Rio de Janeiro with Sugarloaf Mountain, cityscape, and Guanabara Bay in the background.
Colorful tiled staircase in a hilly area with people sitting and walking, some under umbrellas, leading up to a city scene in Kazahkstan during daytime.
View from a high vantage point showing a coastal city with mountains, beaches, water, and buildings, with people on a balcony in the foreground.
View from Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro showing cable cars, lush green hill, cityscape, and mountains in the background.
Large colorful mural of a woman's face with dreadlocks and vibrant paint patterns, surrounded by palm trees.
Inside a large, ornate library with tall bookshelves, wooden tables, and chairs, and visitors browsing and studying.
A grilling skillet filled with various cuts of cooked meat and a piece of bread, on a dining table with white plates and a person in the background.
Plate of cooked seafood including lobster tail, crab, and shrimp served with yellow rice and a small dish of melted butter or sauce.
Beach scene with colorful umbrellas and people sitting on the sand, with a city skyline and mountains in the background under partly cloudy skies.